Having problems with your dog not bringing the toy back to your hand, or not wanting to release the toy? As always we want to apply an objective eye to what is driving the behaviour. WTF? “What’s The Function?”, as Dr Susan Friedman would say.
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Often people have issues with their dog not wanting to give them the toy, and it’s because the moment the dog DOES bring it to them, the human throws it away again. They never bothered to ask the dog what game HE wanted to play and they’re making an assumption that the chase is the thing the dog is enjoying. The dog, however, actually wants to play tug, so naturally doesn’t want to release the toy! —> WTF? What’s the function?

A few months ago Awhi was enjoying chasing the toys that I threw but didn’t always want to bring them back to me. I quickly realised that “keepaway” (pup dodges and runs and the human/dog playmate chases him and tries to get the toy) was his reinforcer of choice. You can’t play keepaway if you drop the toy in the human’s hand straight away. So duh. No dice. Catch-me-if-you-can!

The problem with this was that I want him to place the toy directly into my outstretched hand when we are playing fetch (a: because I am fundamentally lazy, and b: to make it easier for my mum and my little boy to play fetch with him, and c: for safety reasons if he ever grabs something he isn’t supposed to have).

So Awhi says “the game is keep the toy away from the human!” and Bex says “the game is bring the toy to the human!”. We were at an impasse. Except we weren’t. ‘Cos behavioural science for the win. Or the win-win.

I did two things:
- I devised a reliable cue for when its time to play keepaway, and we played that game together regularly
AND...
- I started reinforcing him with a click & food for placing the toy in my hand when we’re playing fetch, before throwing it again. I gave him more of a reason to want to bring it back to me. (I also sometimes reinforce him for a good toy delivery by immediately returning the toy to him, and then initiating the keepaway game! Double whammy).

Ok there’s a third thing (well sort of an extension of the first thing...):
- I also ensured my cues for ‘deliver toy to my hand’ vs ‘let’s tug’ vs ‘you should run cos I’m gonna GETCHA’ were nice and clear. These are separate games that have separate cues and they’re under stimulus control - i.e. we don’t play keepaway when the current game is fetch.

I always try to balance this out further by trying to take his cues as much as he takes mine - eg if he tells me he wants to play keepaway I don’t ride roughshod over his opinions and relentlessly insist on fetch. That would make me a poor playmate. Interactions with our friends should be a two-way street where compromises are made and communication is respected and one person doesn’t always dominate the games. Just ask my six-year-old. He and his buddies in the sandpit get it right (most of the time).

It is always worth thinking about what’s the function in very tangible terms - what is the consequence of the behaviour? How is it being reinforcer? Currently I reinforce the toy delivery with a click plus food plus a throw of the toy, and the keepaway game and tug are reinforced by the play itself. Soon I will start to fade the food for toy delivery and see if the behaviour maintains (ie test to see if the fun of chasing the toy is now enough to reinforce the behaviour of bringing it back).

So bottom line is this: it’s not all about me. I can honour the function of Awhi’s original ‘dodge-away-not-gonna-give-you-my-toy’ behaviour and not deny him that fun, while ALSO getting to have the fetch-and-deliver-direct-to-hand behaviour that I want. Win-win.

By satisfying the function and clarifying the cues for these different behaviours, I ensure that Awhi and I BOTH get what we want, and there’s no miscommunications or frustrations.

During the Positively Together Clinic with Bex Tasker in Texas during March, I took away some very deep and interesting points that have really been settling well with me and that I have already seen beautifully improving me and my horse’s flow of training.

First of all, I just want to say what an incredible trainer and person Bex is. She truly has an amazing gift of being able to teach others with such a profound mindset that is expressed through her deep passion in helping people and their horses create a connection in their training. I am so grateful that I was able to spend several days learning from her and having fun; it truly was very eye opening seeing what an incredible community she is building.
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One of the main focuses throughout the clinic was the concept of “breathing and being.” Breathing to create a connection and calmness that leads to being present in the mind; being in the moment of the training and focusing on that connection between the human and horse.
“Breathe and be.”  ​As I continued to think about it throughout the entire clinic, it continued to resonate more and more within me; as I put it to use during my training sessions with Arrow in the clinic, my eyes were opened. 

It has helped both of us so much in the fact that it has reminded me to be in the moment during the training session which has allowed us to train more efficiently and improves my ability to asses the situation with a clearer mind. It reminds me to relax my body and focus on the present moment and what I’m positively looking for instead of focusing on what could go wrong or what I “should” be doing instead (more on the whole “should concept" later in this post).
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Therefore with all of that being said about how it has been improving my mental state, it has helped Arrow so much because I am clearer in my communication in the training, I am relaxed and focused, which therefore helps Arrow because he can clearly feel safe in the training because he is perceiving clear communication from me. Our training is even more fluent and connected. Whenever one of us feels a little worried or unsure, we can always return to the “breathe and be” behavior and get re-grounded. I can also always keep the “breathe and be” thought process in my head as a reminder to stay calm and joyful in the entire training process.

Thank you so much Bex for sharing such an amazing concept with me to improve our training and connection that is built between myself and my horses. Whenever I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed in the presence of training, all I have to do to remind myself to put these words to use is to simply stop, place my hand on my belly and breathe as I reinforce Arrow for being in his “default” or “breathe and be” position. It has already been helping us immensely and I just have to remind myself to breathe and realize that everything is going to be ok even if something little unexpected happens — I have to challenge myself to stay relaxed and present.